


love’s gonna get you killed (but pride’s gonna be the death of you)

by Sysa



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mob, Alternate Universe - Not Hockey Players, Leon is a mob boss, M/M, Matty is a mess, Violence (off-screen), aren’t we all tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:14:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27284758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sysa/pseuds/Sysa
Summary: Matty knows this won’t be good for him. He saw Godfather, okay? He knows Leon can’t get him the peace he longs for - he is fire, smoke and blood.But then their eyes connect and Matthew  forgets about the war altogether, even if he’s looking right at it.
Relationships: Leon Draisaitl/Matthew Tkachuk
Comments: 37
Kudos: 139





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title from LOYALTY. by Kendrick Lamar ft. Rihanna. 
> 
> This is a work of fiction.

Matthew was irritated. Today was not his day. He felt exhausted after studying the whole night, taking two exams in the morning and then coming straight to work. Not long into his shift, he broke two whiskey glasses so unluckily, pieces of glass stayed in his palms and fingers. The new guy who shared the shift, _call me Johnny_ , helped him find tweezers and band-aids. He tried to continue with his work behind the bar, even though his eyes teared up a few times when he touched something the wrong way or the lemon juice got into one of the cuts.

Matthew clenched his teeth and counted hours until the shift ends in his head. He’s been doing that since he’s learnt how to count. Matthew always thought it had to get better - counting minutes, hours, days and years, waiting, chasing the inevitable _after_.

The bar he worked in was big and popular among the rich people of Edmonton. He liked the place. With its dark wood everywhere, dim lights and jazz music playing, it was hard not to like it there. Plus, he could finally move out of the apartment he shared with other three boys thanks to the great tips. He lived alone in a little flat close by university now. He knew very well he was lucky to get the job in the first place.

His hands started bleeding again around midnight. He moved to the kitchen, where he used to wash glasses when he first started working here. He unwrapped the old band-aids, put his hands under the warm water and spent a few seconds looking at the blood in the sink. Maybe he got a little bit hypnotised and flinched when someone called his name.

John stood in the doorway, stepping in impatiently.

“Sorry, I have to change the bandages. I’ll be right back.”

“Dude, why don’t you just do the tables? We can change.”

Matthew was taken aback. “You wouldn’t mind?”

Johnny rolled his eyes at the surprised tone in his voice.

“Just get on with it.” he said and left, this time taking the doors leading behind the bar.

Matthew quickly changed the bandages and checked if his suit pants weren’t rumpled. He thanked Johnny after maybe an hour of waiting the tables, when his hands felt a lot better. Johnny just smiled his normal crooked smile and asked him if he has already seen the new episode of Game of Thrones. That was all it took for Matthew to start a long rant about terrible writing of the eighth season. John didn’t agree - but he liked Cersei, so his opinion wasn’t really valid to Matthew.

“Oh, shit, look who’s coming.”

Matthew turned around and groaned. Even Johnny, who worked at the bar for about two or three months, knew what these men meant.

“What’s wrong with Ryan’s hair?” he found himself saying, turning back to look at the bar, giving them time to sit down.

“I kinda like it,” Johnny muttered, blushing high on his cheekbones.

 _Oh_ , Matthew thought. He didn’t say anything - just smirked. John realised he said too much, rolled his eyes and turned around.

“Go and ask them what they want,” he grumbled, moving away the bottle of vodka he needed before.

“I’m on my fucking way, Johnny.” He took a deep breath and slowly walked over to the four men sitting in the far right corner of the bar, so they had a clear view of everything that was going on.

“Good evening.” he said when he finally got to their table, even though it was half past three in the morning. “What can I do for you, gentlemen?”

“Matthew,” his boss, Connor, tipped his head in greeting. “How is it going?”

“Good night, sir.”

“The new boy is doing fine?” he asked, looking over to the bar.

Matthew shook his head yes. “More than fine. What would you like to drink?”

“I’m doing shots!” Ryan, sitting in the chair right next to Matthew, was grinning. “I’m celebrating tonight.”

“There’s nothing to celebrate.” Connor huffed, his eyes hard. Ryan just grinned and looked at Matthew.

“Absinth.” he mouthed and Matt nodded courtly.

“Vodka for me.” That didn’t surprise him, Oscar has never drunk anything else. He looked at Connor, trained to expect the next demand from him.

“Cognac for us.”

Matthew hoped he kept his expression blank, even though he couldn’t help himself and looked at the fourth man sitting right across from him. He was already watching him closely when he looked. Still, he didn’t move his gaze, just continued to stare at him. The muscles in his face stayed calm, as if he was daring Matt to say something. He already knew that he would never do that. Matt glanced back at Ryan, who was still smiling lopsidedly.

“Gentlemen,” he said, bowing his head quickly. He turned, sure he saw smirk on a face of the tallest man in the group. Matthew lost.

“You look ridiculous.” John said, already waiting for the order.

“Your boy is feeling loose today,” he countered and Johnny made a wounded noise. “He wants absinth. Vodka and two cognacs.”

“Well, no surprises there.”

Matty just shrugged. “Do you want to be the one who brings it to them?”

“No.” Johnny told him, leaving no space for negotiation. He shrugged again, murmuring: “Whatever.” Just eighty six minutes until his shift ended. Nothing could distract him from that.

“There you go, look at that flame!” Johnny looked like an excited child, absentmindedly copying the look on Ryan’s face when he ordered his shots.

Matty rolled his eyes and caught the tray with four glasses into his hands. The conversation the men were leading stopped abruptly when he got there. He kept his face stern, used to looking like he didn’t notice.

“Jesus, Ryan.” said somebody when he put the burning absinth in front of him. Two glasses of pure vodka and cognac and he was left with the last drink. Cognac on the rocks, _what the fuck_ , nobody drank it that way. He put it down, shifting slightly on his feet now when the tray was empty.

“What happened to your hand?”

Matthew flinched, looking up. He heard him speaking only two times during his time in the bar. He has never addressed him directly.

“It was - I was -“

“Was someone making problems?” Connor asked, interested now.

“No, I just -“

“You are bleeding.” He didn’t get to finish, dark hazel eyes burning holes into him. Matt looked down and yes, there was blood again.

“Oh,” he said intelligently. “I just had an accident.”

“An accident?”

Connor frowned. “Leon,” he said, obviously trying to convey this conversation into something normal.  
“That will be everything. Thank you, Matthew.” he continued. Matty recognised a command when he heard one, therefore he walked away without looking up.

“He just asked me what happened to my hand.” he told Johnny lowly, still a little bit shocked.

“Who?”

“Leon.” The name felt weird on his tongue. His own confusion mirrored on Johnny’s face.

“Could you bring me a new bandage?”

That was a beginning of some sorts.

•••

Matt woke up to a banging on his door. He groaned, rolling out of bed only when it didn’t stop. He padded to the hall, barefoot and just in pyjama pants, and opened the door.  
He couldn’t help but groan again when he saw who was standing on the other side.

“You have the keys!” he yelled out. The small girl just smiled and let herself in, dancing right into his kitchen. Matty breathed out loudly, a vain try of the breathing exercises he could never figure out.

“I lost them.” Alison said when he finally got to the kitchen. She was rummaging through the cabinets, putting out the food on the counter. He sighed.

“I don’t have money to change my locks every single time you lose them. This is like the fifth time.”

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic,” she rolled her eyes. “It’s not like I won’t pay for it.”

“It’s annoying.”

“You are annoying.”

He looked at her, unimpressed. “Anyway, I’m making omelettes. What do you want to have in yours? I’m making a spinach one for Mark.”

“I want a cheese one - wait, for Mark?”

“Yes, he’s coming in a minute.”  
Matthew was ready to start a rant right there, right in that moment, but the bell interrupted him. “At least he knows how to use a bell.” he barked, standing up.

Mark, Matthew and Alison have been friends for the last twenty years. Now they were sitting on Matt’s couch, eating their omelettes.

“So, me and Zach went to this concert,”

Mark snorted. “Zach at a _concert_.” Matty giggled helplessly at the image in his head. He couldn’t imagine Alison’s husband at a concert. Was he a good man? Yes. Did he love Alison? Yes. Was he painfully boring and stiff? Also a yes.

“You’re so funny, Mark.” she said, quirking one of her eyebrows at him. It was the left one, with a big scar in it. That’s actually how they became friends - Matthew and Mark being roommates, Alison living in the room next to them. She didn’t have as much luck with the roommate as them.

Maybe that’s why she needed softness in her life and married Zach, on one hand handsome rich engineer, on the other hand, boring and silent man.

“This tomatoes are great, man.” Mark said, obviously trying to change the subject. “How is work?”

“Well, I mean,” Matty swallowed his food and continued. “It’s work. But okay.”

“Why nobody ever asks me about _my_ work?”

Mark sighed. Alison was obviously in a mood for picking up the conversations that always led to an argument.

“I’m tired,” Matt whined before Mark could say anything. He stood up and went to the kitchen, taking their plates with him. He grabbed a bottle of water and returned.

“Who are you texting to?” he asked curiously when he saw Mark intently writing on his phone, not the first time since they’ve started eating.

“I’m not texting with anybody.” Mark squeaked with a voice that indicated that he was surely texting with somebody. Alison obviously thought the same thing and lounged forward, catching Mark’s phone in her hand before he could protest.

“Who is B, Mark?”

Matty came forward to look at the messages, Alison still scrolling through the conversation. That was the moment when Mark finally got out of his shock, pulling Alison’s knee and causing her to fall on the couch. Matthew was quick, took the phone Ali was offering him, only milliseconds before Mark got a hold of it.

“Give me my phone back, come on!” he whined and Matt cackled. The phone in his hand vibrated, showing a notification of a new message.

“They are asking you when should they pick you up! Do you have a date?”

“Are you going on a date without telling us?” Alison asked outraged.

Matty sat down, giving the phone to Mark. He was surprised to see he was blushing, his cheeks and ears more pink than usual.

“You two are so nosy,” he complained.  
“Who is it?” Alison kicked his thigh softly, not caring about his complaints.  
“I met him in a coffee shop, okay? It’s nothing serious.” he said, obviously regretting his words as soon as Alison spoke again.

“A meet-cute, huh? Which Hallmark’s movie script is this?”  
Mark sighed, rubbing his eyes with his left hand. Matthew giggled helplessly.

Three weeks later, Matt was looking forward to spring. It snowed everyday, the degrees always low under zero. He didn’t like the cold, even though he had to get used to it. His hands got dry and his hair was always messy because of the hat that protected his ears from freezing off.

He was walking home from school, carrying a shopping bag packed with groceries. The snow was falling heavily and he could barely see where he was going. He swore under his breath and quickened his step, crunching the snow under his boots.

“Matthew!” he looked over his shoulder, surprised. He didn’t hear any cars approaching him, especially not this big SUV with bulky men sitting inside of it right next to the curb.

“Connor wants to talk to you.” said the driver, probably realising Matt was seconds from running away.

Swearing under his breath again, he got into the car. It wasn’t the first time his boss sent someone to get him when he wanted to talk to him. However, it was the first time he got into a car with them. He didn’t like it.

When they got to the hotel right next to the bar, the men walking with him took him to the back rooms, even farther than the administration offices. He was there only once before. The tallest guy opened a door in front of which another man in a suit was standing.

“I brought him in, sir.”

The man behind the desk looked up and it -very obviously- wasn’t Connor. He furrowed his brows, eyes flicking back and forth between them.

“What are you doing here?” Leon asked, looking directly at him.

“I could ask you the same question. Where is Connor?” Matthew said, aggravated by this whole situation.  
Leon didn’t answer him, just sighed.

“Are you fucking stupid?!” he barked. “This is not the Matthew I’m looking for.”

The man behind Matt took a step back. “But, sir-“

“I can’t believe the amount of shit you are able to fuck up.” Leon raised his voice and Matt flinched. He hated when people yelled. It made his skin feel tight the wrong way. He adverted his gaze to the man who brought him in and saw sheer fear in his eyes.

Matty clutched the bag filled with milk and morning cereals closer to his shoulder. All he wanted was to go home and finally get some rest. “I-I should probably just head out.” he said.

Leon was sitting reclined in a chair behind a dark wooden table. He was wearing a dark blue suit and crispy white shirt without a tie. He looked fresh, beard perfectly trimmed and hair held in place by gel. Matthew suddenly felt really conscious of his curls falling out of his ugly red hat.

“Is it still snowing?” Leon looked a little bit taken aback by the fact that Matthew spoke without being spoken to. He nodded.

“I’ll drive you. I was on my way out anyhow,” Leon stood up and walked around the table, putting on his camel coat slowly. Matthew was stunned to silence.

“And you,” he continued. “Should finally do your job.” The man nodded quickly, beckoning out of the room.

“Shall we?” Leon pointed out to the open door with his arm and Matthew finally started to move, still speechless.

They walked out of the office, Matt trailing after Leon. Everyone who met them has greeted them, bowing their heads, reminding Matty of the ‘king's walking through the corridor’ scene he’s seen in cheesy TV shows.

It was indeed still snowing outside but Leon’s car was ready right in front of the hotel. It was flashy, expensive black car and Matty had to stop himself from scowling.

“Get in,” Leon said when he didn’t open the door right away.

He climbed into the passenger seat just as Leon raved the engine and took off down the street.

For a minute, Matt was just trying to put his thoughts into order. Leon was so close he could see the snowflakes melting in his eyelashes.

“What was that?” he asked just as Leon took a turn.

“What was what?”

“All of that,” Matty huffed. “Where is Connor?”

“The fuck if I know.” Leon shrugged. “Where do you live?”

Matt told him the address and sinked further into his seat.

“Do you live in a frat house?” he chuckled and Matt shook his head no.

“You can just drop me off at the square, I’ll walk from there.”

“Yeah- but no,”

Matt’s phone started buzzing in his jacket pocket. He quickly picked it out, seeing Mark’s picture flashing on his screen.

“Is that your boyfriend?” Leon asked, watching him decline the call.

“No, what-“ he huffed again. “What is this?”

Leon looked amused, smirking a little, going a lot faster than was probably safe for the snowed-in roads.

“I’m just giving you a ride,” he drawled.

“Why do I feel like I’m in Godfather?”

At that, Leon laughed, bubbly and loud.

“Do you think I look like young Al Pacino?”  
And look, Matthew _knew_. He knew where he worked, he knew Connor always carried a gun on him, he knew what Connor’s friends and coworkers did - or at least assumed. He heard enough stories about them to connect the dots, to know that Oscar was always sitting facing the door for a reason. He knew the key to his success was keeping his mouth shut and listening to the right people. He knew Connor liked him because he was never asking him things out of curiosity. So, Matt knew but he has never directly _seen_.

Matthew didn’t know what to say but was saved by the car abruptly stopping right in front of his apartment building. Leon eyed the bag on the floor, flour and milk almost falling out. Matty quickly picked it up and cleared his throat.

“Thank you for the ride. You really didn’t have to bother,”

He opened the door and was instantly hit by the coldness. He didn’t realise his car seat was radiating heat until he had to stand up.

“You’re welcome,” Leon said. “Be safe, Matthew.” he added before he could close the door.

That night, Matthew dreamt about floating in water, waves taking him far away from the shore. The sea was beautiful, all kinds of blue showed up because of the sun shining at it. It wasn’t calm and Matty felt how the underwater streams were dragging him down. All it took was one bigger wave and suddenly, he was under the water. Matt woke up just as he started to drown.

•••

“Please, Matty.” Johnny pleaded, his face full of hope. “Just this time. I swear it won’t happen again.”

Matt sighed, eyeing the boy in front of him curiously. He shook his head, putting down the alcohol bottles.

“It’s one of a kind situation! I’ll never bother you again. Please, do it for me. I’ll take three of your shifts and everything-“

“Fine, fine.” Matt stopped him. “I’ll do it. Go and enjoy your date or whatever,” he waved his hand towards the door.

“Oh god, thank you! Don’t tell Connor! Bye!” he quickly left, probably fearing Matt would change his mind.

Matthew sighed and looked at his watch. He hoped the night will be calm because he was tired and without John’s help. His wish was granted, only a few people wandering in the bar. By midnight, he was almost alone, just with four tables occupied.

 _how is yr date goin?_ he typed out a text to Johnny, looking up when he heard the door being pulled opened. He noticed broad shoulders and slim waist, emphasised by the crisp white shirt he was wearing. Matt would know it was Leon just from the way he was dressed - perfectly tailored navy suit and slacks that hugged his legs in all the right places. He walked right to a bar where Matthew stood, sitting down at the bar stool. That was weird, Matt thought, Leon never came alone.

“Hello,” he said, putting away his phone. He saw John replied, just three thumbs up in a row.

“Hi - can you get me a cognac?”

Up close like this, Leon seemed tired. He had bags under his eyes, nothing prominent but something that surely wasn’t there before.

Matt set up the glass in front of him with a slight smile on his face.

“Thank you,” he took a sip. “So, where are the others?”  
“What do you mean?”

Leon drank a little again, looking at Matt expectedly. “Where is your co-worker?”

“Uh - John had a family emergency, he had to leave.” Matthew lied as easy as he breathed in the air into his lungs. He was so good at it that it scared him sometimes.

“So you are here all alone,” Leon said, wolfish smile prominent on the 5 o’clock shadow he was sporting. Matthew nodded, smirking a little. Did Leon think he would be afraid of him?

“How is your hand doing?”

“It’s okay.” He held his hand up, showing Leon a couple of little scars on his palm, already going white.

Leon nodded and finished his drink in a few quick gulps. Matt took his glass and put in the sink, then poured him a new cognac. He hummed and downed it almost all in one go. Matty’s hands twitched and he quickly turned around so he wouldn’t do something stupid, like asking Leon if he was okay.

He started washing the glasses, subtly looking at his watch. He was going to close in two hours and twenty minutes. Matt could work with that.

“Matthew?”

“I’m sorry — what?”

Leon was smirking a little, looking at him with expectation. “I asked you if your day has been fine.”

Matty stared at him, face blank. He suddenly wished he hadn’t let Johnny get away from his shift that easily.

“I mean, that’s what people do, isn’t it? Sit here and make small talk with the bartender.”

Leon was explaining himself to him — still confident — and Matt suddenly felt like he was on a thin ice. “Uh, my day is okay. I had to wake up early for classes, made a lunch and went to work, nothing special.”

“So you are not in a frat but you are in a college, right?”

Matt nodded. He looked around the bar but sadly everybody seemed to be doing just fine without him.  
“It’s your turn now.” Leon said and Matt looked back at him.

“Excuse me?”

He finished his drink, shaking his head a little. “I asked you how your day was, made a comment after your answer. Now you have to ask me.”

“I— Well, obviously your day wasn’t good. Otherwise you wouldn’t have been sitting here, having a conversation with me.” Matt breathed in through his nose.

He heard the Weeknd saying he just wanted to baby with the right one from the speakers playing his playlist. Leon seemed to be taken aback and he didn’t really blame him.

But then - Leon laughed. He laughed a genuine laugh, the laugh lines around his eyes showing. “Yes, I guess you’re right.” He shook his head, still looking at Matt as if he was a code to crack. “Do you have any news?”

He shook his head. “Nothing out of ordinary.”

“Oh, come on; I want to hear the gossips. You see so many interesting things,” he smiled knowingly. Matty wasn’t a rat. But when Connor asked him about specific people, he talked.

“Uh,” he shrugged, looking around. “The new senator’s mistress is here.” Matthew tipped his head her way and Leon chuckled.

“The old man still has it going, eh?”

Matt shrugged again, suddenly uncomfortable and very, very tired.  
“What do you think ab-“

“Excuse me!” a woman in her twenties waved her hand at Matt, cutting off whatever Leon was about to say. He quietly apologised and walked over to the lady.

When he got back, Leon was still sitting at the same place, looking at him with expectation. “Let’s go,” he said and Matthew looked up.

“I’m closing in two hours,”

“You’re closing now.”

He rolled his eyes, not patient enough for this conversation. However, Leon didn’t budge.

“I want you to go with me. Close the bar and let’s go.”

Matt didn’t like his tone. He also didn’t like he was making him do something his boss will be mad about tomorrow. It might show on his face, brows furrowed and eyes glassy from how tired he was.

“Matthew,” Leon said a lot nicely this time. He only continued when he met his eyes. “I like talking to you. Will you close the bar? I’ll talk to Connor about it, you don’t have to worry.” Matty looked down and simply shrugged. Leon smiled. He got him right where he wanted him.

Matt put the last glass into the dishwasher and sighed. Closing up was endless, no matter how many times he has already done it in the past. He went to the closet, pulled off his dress shirt and got dressed into a hoodie. He put on a brown coat that Alison bought him as a present for successfully passing his midterms.

He walked out, seeing Leon still sitting on a chair, tapping away on his phone. He informed him he was done and they walked out of the bar, Matt locking the door.

Leon started walking to the direction of the parking lot and he stopped. “Where are you going?”

“To the car,” Leon answered, confused.

“You’ve been drinking.” Matt said, shaking his head a little.

“So?” he lifted his shoulders, letting them drop right after. Matthew blinked and suddenly, he saw flashes of his bloody hands and felt the deep cut on his shoulder and thigh. He heard the screaming and smelled the oil. The memories were vivid and burning, flashing on his eyelids. He opened his eyes and shook his head.

“I won’t let you drive me.” Matt turned around, not willing to compromise on this. He started walking, not really expecting Leon to follow him.

•••

“He did what?!” Alison almost spilled the tea she was holding in her hand. Mark flinched and shushed her as always when she got too loud.

“He just walked me to my apartment. We took the subway and everything,” Matt shrugged. His friends stayed quiet. “It was actually okay. We just talked about my school and the city or whatever.”

Another pause. Matty tried really hard not to fidget.

“Okay, guess I’ll be the one to say this-“ Mark started and he breathed out in relief, even though he knew what was coming. “You know who he is, right? Are you seriously telling us that Leon Draisaitl took a subway to walk you to the university campus?”

He shrugged again. “I mean… that’s what I was trying to tell you all along.”

“This is so weird! You didn’t tell us you know him.”

“I don’t! He just comes to the bar-“

“Maybe because he owns it.” Alison said and Mark huffed. “He owns more than half of the city. That doesn’t explain this whole Matty situation.”

“There is no situation! Oh god, do you think I had a choice? People don’t say no to people like him.” Matt exclaimed. The problem was that he told Leon no - refused to let him drive - and Leon listened. He knew he was just grabbing at a straw, trying really hard not to drown.

Alison scoffed and took a long sip. “Whatever, Matty . Just be careful.”

•••

And that’s what Matthew did. He didn’t see Leon for a month, didn’t hear a thing about him, except for when he told Connor about closing earlier that one night. Connor nodded and said: “I know.” They didn’t get into any sort of details and he was thankful for that.

He worked and went to school, preparing for the last finals in his life.  
Things were fine, not great but not bad either. Matthew was waiting for something to get worse or something to get better and at this point in life he didn’t care which one would come. And so the waiting continued.

The other shoe dropped on Tuesday out of all days. Him and Johny worked even better than before, synchronised like swimmers in a pool. The bar was full, which surprised them both but they did such a good job nobody would suspect it. He was honestly a little proud of them. Then the door opened.

Eight men, Leon among them, entered the bar, sitting down in their usual place. They were loud, far louder than usual. Johnny sighed and turned around, putting away the bottles quickly. “What the fuck are they doing here right now?”

Matty shrugged and when he realised Patrick couldn’t see him turned around as well. “I don’t know. Go and ask them what they want.”

“No way.” John said, chuckling.

“Yes way, it’s your turn.”

“Matty,” he said pathetically. “Don’t make me go there please.”

“Your begging voice is really unattractive, Johnny. I bet Ryan doesn’t like them pathetic.”

John whined and he rolled his eyes. “You owe me! Again.”

“You know I won’t let you down,” Johnny had a smirk on his face. He knew he would win right from the start.

Mathew checked his clock and counted. He shook his head and walked to the table where the men were still loudly talking.

“Good evening, gentlemen.”

All of them turned their heads towards him, as if they were surprised someone would dare to interrupt them.

Leon looked up as well and scanned his face quickly. Matt turned away as fast as he could.

The man sitting the closest to Matt, with sandy blond hair and beautiful green eyes smiled at him a little. “I like.. eh,” he stopped himself, as if he was looking for better words. “Cукa блять. для меня заказал.”  
The guy next to him laughed and nodded.

“The usual for us,” Connor looked tired and older than usual.

He nodded and turned back to the men speaking Russian. “ _It’s okay,_ ” he said, hoping that his accent wasn’t too thick and they understood what he was saying. “ _You can order, I’ll understand._ ”

The man looked taken aback but smiled after a second. “ _Are you Russian?”_

Matt shook his head no. “ _Could have fooled me._ ” said the other man who was suddenly very interested in what Matt was about to say.

“ _What would you like to drink tonight?_ ” he asked, relieved that the men weren’t laughing at him.

“ _What do you think I would like to drink? It’s kind of obvious, don’t you think?_ ” the man with sandy hair had something mischievous in his eyes and Matt allowed himself to smile.

“ _I would suggest Stoli or Beluga but-_ “

“ _Yeah, Beluga it is. I don’t want to drink any of the Finnish shit. Who even drinks that?_ ”

The other guy laughed and looked at another man sitting across from him. “ _I bet Kasperi likes it,_ ”

“What the fuck are you even talking about?” Kasperi wasn’t impressed and Matt quickly stepped in. He didn’t want to be a part of this.

“Beluga then. Thank you,” he turned on his heel and returned to the bar.  
Johnny looked at him questioningly.  
“Don’t even ask.” he sighed and started with the order.

When he got back to the table, the man he talked to before was already looking at him.

“ _Thank you, pretty face,_ ” he said when Matt handed him his glass. He looked up and the man winked at him. He couldn’t help but smile. Damn it, he couldn’t deny the man was attractive.

The night slowly progressed and Johnny was willing to wait their table until they left.

•••

Leon came to the bar two days after it. Matt was working alone - it was Thursday and there weren’t many people in the bar. Leon didn’t even sit down on the bar stool, ambushing him right away.

“You need to translate for me tomorrow evening.”

“What?” Matty looked at him dubiously.

“The Russians are still here. I don’t fucking speak Russian, you do. You have to come with me to the dinner. Simple as that.”

He shook his head and put away the lemon he was holding in his hand. “I’m sure there are people better at Russian than me. Just pay for a translator.”

“No, you don’t understand. They won’t talk to the translator. They did talk to you, though.”

“I don’t have time for that. I’m working.”

“Look, if you do this for me, you don’t have to work this week.” Leon looked desperate, Matt couldn’t deny it. He was still doubting this would work.

“I just need you to be there tomorrow.”

“I don’t know. I’m telling you, I’m not even that good at translating and I’m pretty busy with school at the moment-” Matt tried to come up with another reason why he couldn’t do it but Leon interrupted him before he could say anything else.

“This whole month then. You’ll get a paid vacation, fine? Do this and I’ll owe you one.”

Matt looked up, stunned to silence. He shrugged and that seemed to be all the affirmation Leon needed.

“Great, somebody will pick you up at 9. Be ready.”

Before Matty could say anything at all, Leon was out of the door.


	2. Chapter 2

Matty entered the restaurant, idly fiddling with his fingers. He wore his best dress shirt and Alison even made him use gel on his curls. He really didn’t know what to expect from this evening and he tried really hard not to imagine it, even though his anxiety has already come up with a million things that could go wrong. 

“Matthew,”

He looked up and suddenly Leon was in his space, leading him further into the room with a hand at the small on his back. Matty was the only person without a suit, which he realised immediately after looking around him. There were maybe fifteen to twenty men, some of whom Matthew knew. Ryan smiled at him when he saw them approaching and Matty tried really hard to smile back, but it felt more like a grimace because of his nerves. 

“What am I supposed to do?” he asked Leon, who wasn’t paying any attention to him even though he was still touching him. 

“Just talk to them. Talk about what a nice place Edmonton is or how’s the weather, I don’t care, just keep the conversation going.” 

Leon stopped at almost the very middle of the big table they all sat behind. There were two chairs empty and Leon pulled back one of them for him. Matty sat down hesitantly. 

“ _Fancy seeing you here, pretty face_.” 

He looked to his right and saw the same man he met on Tuesday, smiling at him. 

“ _Hi, how are you?_ ” 

“ _A lot better now_ .” the man winked. “ _Would you like something to drink?”_

Matt looked at the table, as if he only now noticed what’s in front of him. It was overflowing with food and alcohol - vodka, champagne and whiskey. He also noticed oysters and a lot of caviar with bliny. 

He was about to say he would be alright with champagne, when two glasses of sheer liquid landed right in front of him. 

“ _Drink up,_ ” 

Matty didn’t even like drinking vodka. 

“ _I’m Alex by the way._ ” 

“ _I’m Matty,_ ” he answered and took one of the glasses into his palm. 

Alex leaned in and kissed him softly on his cheek. “ _Nice to meet you,_ ” 

Before Matthew could react in any way, Alex drank his shot - he didn’t even flinch afterwards like Matty always did. 

“ _Would you fancy some oysters? They are great!_ ” 

Matt nodded, thinking that it was a nice thing to do even if he never ate oysters before nor did he want to try. Alex put some lemon juice on it for him and handed it to Matt, then took another one for himself. 

Alex swallowed his oyster and took a gulp of champagne immediately afterwards and Matty was left with only one option - doing the same thing. 

He was so surprised by the taste, he couldn’t help but let out a quiet moan. 

“ _It’s good, right?_ ” 

Matthew nodded excitedly. “ _It’s so tasty!_ ” Alex laughed and handed him another one. 

Half an hour later, Matty was a little bit tipsy and comfortably full of food. He was still chatting with Alex, but now they were surrounded by Alex’s friends who formed a mid-circle around them. Matty found it easy to talk with them, knew by now what they would laugh at. 

He finished telling another story and drank up from his champagne glass. Alex was looking at him with sparkling eyes. Matty stood up, a little bit dizzy. He said he’s going to come back in a minute and walked across the restaurant to where the corridor with toilets was.

Just as he was about to open the door, he heard somebody call out his name. He turned around and even if he was expecting to see Leon, seeing him up close in the dim light of the corridor with his hair still perfectly fixed and suit without any crinkles was a bit of a shock.

“Whatever you’re doing, keep doing it.” 

Matty allowed himself to smile. Leon was looking straight into his eyes and he looked like he was about to say something else but then another man entered the corridor and he just nodded and left as quickly as he came. 

Alex was still sitting where he left him, but the people around them have changed again. He looked around the room and saw that the whole mood of the room had shifted and he supposed the main reason for that were the women who appeared with big smiles and sparkling dresses. 

He found Leon sitting in the corner of the room, a lean tall man he has never seen talking to him and vividly gesturing with his hands. Leon, on the other hand, was perfectly still and his hands didn’t move an inch as he held his glass with golden liquid.

Suddenly, he looked up and caught Matthew staring at him. Matt quickly looked away, feeling like he was burned. 

Matty ran a hand through his hair and tugged at them a little. It was pretty late and he started to feel tired. Maybe he could leave soon? He looked up and saw that Leon was still watching him, so he immediately changed his mind. He turned in his chair a little bit, now facing Alex. Matt reached for his glass and sipped a little of his champagne. 

" _Your boyfriend is watching you like a hawk,_ ” Alex said with a mischievous smile. 

Matthew snorted his champagne and oh, _bubbles in the nose burned_. 

“ _What?_ ” 

Alex tipped his chin in the general area where Leon was sitting as if it wasn’t already obvious who he was talking about. 

“ _It’s not like that._ ” Matthew said because he hasn’t found a better thing to say. 

“Okay,” Alex shrugged in a way that indicated that he was everything but convinced. 

“ _When are you leaving Edmonton?_ ” he asked, desperate to change the topic. 

“ _This week, hopefully. I really don’t like it here._ ” 

“ _Really? Why?_ ” Matthew understood, he didn’t like Edmonton either. 

“ _People in here are way too stubborn,_ ” Alex said using a tone so specific, that Matt had no doubt who he really meant by _people_. 

•••

It was a few days later when Alison visited his flat again.

“I really need to hear your impressions! You texted me, only like.. two messages!” she exclaimed like it was his worst sin.

“I don’t know, Ali, okay? I’m just really stressed right now, I’m sorry.” 

She finally stopped pacing, looking at him for the first time since she barged in. He must have made a really pitiful image - his bed was full of papers and he had to admit his sweatshirt had already started to stink. His skin felt greasy, just as his hair and his eyes were probably glassy from how tired they were. 

Alison sat down next to him. “Oh, baby, what’s wrong?” She brushed a stray curl away from his face. 

Matthew shook his head. “It’s just.. school.” 

“Are you hungry? When was the last time you ate something?”

He didn’t even think about eating but now that she has mentioned food, he realised his stomach hurt from not eating in the last three days. 

“That’s fine, just get out of bed and take a shower, okay?” she smiled, knowing him too well to wait out his answer. 

He nodded and got out of bed. His knees cracked. When he came back to the bedroom, the bed was made, the window opened and his papers divided into sections.

“Are you done? I could die for a good Bum Bo Nam Bo, so hurry up.” 

He knew there weren’t enough words in the world he could say to convince her he really needs to study, so he dutifully dressed up and followed her when she got out of the apartment.

It was only after they had two big bowls full of Vietnamese food in front of them when she started to talk.

“This isn’t healthy, Matty. We talked so much about it and there you go and stop caring about your well being all at once. I’m really worried - and no, don’t try to contradict. I know you’re afraid about not doing good in school or whatever, but shit, Matt, you’re a great student. I know you can do it. I’m sure you will. You have to cut yourself some slack.” 

He shrugged, not really knowing what to say.

“And you need to do something fun for once, not just work and study. Even though you sweet talked a member of Russian mafia the other day,” 

“I doubt he was a member of Russian mafia.” he interrupted her before stuffing his mouth with more food.

“Oh, this gets you to talk?” she giggled and he rolled his eyes at her. “Anyway, there’s a thing at Jack’s today. We’re coming.” 

“No! I thought they closed because of the last police raid.” 

Alison shrugged. “They did not,” 

Matthew didn’t understand how that was possible the moment they entered the big old warehouse in the outskirts of the city. The whole place was buzzing, loud and full of people. 

The amateur boxing scene was very popular in the city, mainly because it wasn’t so amateur anymore. 

There were already two mean looking guys in the rink, glaring at each other. 

Alison jabbed him in the ribs and took his hand, leading him closer to where the most important stuff was happening - betting. 

When they finally pushed through the raving crowd, the fight was over. The yelling didn’t stop, it grew even louder when the other pair of men entered the rink. 

“Who should I bet on?” Alison asked him and Matthew analysed the fighters. One of them was bulkier and showed off his big muscles with pride. The other one was lanky, muscular but not in the same way. He looked concentrated and his movements during the warm up were swift, quick and easy. 

“That one.” Matt said and Ali raised her eyebrow. 

“The small one?” 

He nodded. 

She shrugged. “Well, if you say so.” Alison pulled out her purse and handed the dealer fifty bucks. 

The fight started with the bulky guy hitting the smaller one right in the jaw. He shook his head a little and came right back in. After a few good-placed hits in the stomach, he managed to pull the big guy on the mat, where he finished him quickly enough. 

Alison screamed out in joy, smiling wide at Matty. He let himself smile back, feeling immense gratitude towards her not for the first time that day. 

“Matthew, is that you?” 

He turned around and he was immediately swooped up in somebody’s arms. 

“Jack?! Oh god, I haven’t seen you in ages.” Alison yelled out but the crowd was louder than ever, starved for blood, so it was hard to hear her anyway. 

Jack looked the same as always, happy smile and glasses pronouncing his already big nose. 

“Are you going up?” he threw his hand in the general direction of the rink and Matt laughed. 

“No, I haven’t fought in ages, I bet everyone would tear me down!” 

Jack checked him out in a very obvious manner, stopping at his face. He leaned in and touched the scar right above his lip, healed and only slightly visible. 

“Oh, I don’t believe you! You could go and throw a few punches even now. You were one of the best men I had.” 

And knocking teeth out, that Matthew could do. Responding to this kind of flirtation, not so much. 

Alison sensed the awkwardness that was looming over them. “So, what’s up? Tonight’s busier than normal,” she said, smiling a big smile as if trying to fool them with it. 

Jack finally looked away from Matty, throwing his hands up in the air. “The boss wanted me to do something special, said he’s going to bring somebody in. Enjoy the surprise in the fourth round, you guys. I have to go now but it was so nice to see you!” he winked at Matt. “We should go out sometime,” 

Matty smiled. “Mine and Alison’s schedules barely overlap but I’m sure we can figure something out.” 

Jack hesitated. The message was clear. “Okay! See you then!” he said at last, turning around and leaving them alone in the crowd. 

Alison looked up immediately after he was out of earshot. She grinned, wide and a little bit scary. 

“Don’t even start,” 

He looked at the rink, saw that the third fight was about to end. Then he thought about what Jack said and - “We have to fucking leave, like, right now - “ he said, grabbing Alison’s hand and trying to find the quickest way to get out of there. 

“Ow, what’s wrong?” 

He elbowed a guy right into his ribs to get him to move away and strained to get to the exist. Matty looked up and found out that it was already too late. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he turned around quickly, bumping right into Alison. 

“What’s wrong? Why are you acting like a lunatic?” 

He jerked his chin in the direction of the exit and she looked up. 

“Oh,” she said and he couldn’t help himself, looked up as well. 

Leon was there, among other maybe eight men, who Matty knew from the bar. The last thing he wanted today was to meet the man. He hasn’t seen him since the night at the restaurant and he wanted to keep it that way. Matthew still thought it was weird, him spending the night eating their food and drinking the expensive alcohol, in exchange for talking to some guys in Russian. 

Leon looked big. Not as in size, but in the way he held himself. He was so sure of himself, you could see it just in the way he walked. He didn’t look at anyone, everything about him screaming “ _I’m closed-off and unapproachable_ ”. 

Matthew tried again, pulling Alison’s hand. He wanted nothing more than to leave, the crowd yelling out obscenities at the rink, where the next fight was about to start. He managed to move closer to the exit, keeping his head down. 

“He’s literally staring at you right now,” Alison said and Matthew grumbled. “If you didn’t want him to recognise you, you should have cut your hair like I told you to do.” she bitched and Matt just rolled his eyes, leaving still the only thing he had in his mind. 

They made it outside without getting followed by anyone and when he looked at Alison, she smiled at him and jabbed him with her elbow. She handed him the money she received from the dealer. 

“Since you were the one who made the bet.” 

He shook his head no, put his hands in the pockets. “No, it’s yours,” 

She rolled her eyes. “Are you feeling any better?” 

Matthew nodded. “Thank you.” 

“Come on,” she clicked her tongue. “I have to go now, Zach hasn’t been annoyed by me for a long time and I have to change that.” 

They hugged goodbye and Matthew walked over to the bus stop. He let himself close his eyes when he was sitting in the empty bus, lulled by the soft sound it made. When he got off just a few blocks from his apartment and put his hands in the pockets to shield them from the cold, he touched an unknown object. He yelped, surprised. Once he pulled it out, he sighed out. It was Alison’s money. 

•••

That night, his dreams took him back to the orphanage. The kids from his block were playing hide and seek. He found his best hiding spot, right in the kitchen counter cabinet. Mat’s heart was beating loud from the adrenaline and fear of being found out. He was sure he was safe in his hideout, but for how long? He knew wherever he hid, Alison would always find him. 

•••

It was two weeks later when he saw Leon again. He came in very late, just half an hour before the closing time. 

“You’re alone here again,” was the first thing he said and the glint in his eyes told Matthew he had already known that. 

He just nodded. “Would you fancy some cognac?” 

Leon shook his head no. “Listen, I’m here to say - I feel like I still owe you for helping me out. Let me take you out for dinner.” 

Matthew was left speechless. He blinked, trying to keep his composure. “What do you mean? I had my vacation, it’s completely fine.” 

“No, but still. The thing with Russians, it went really well. You really did help. Let’s get you the dinner you deserve.” 

“Eh, I don’t know..” Matty said awkwardly. _What the fuck?_ Did he have to do something again? 

Leon grinned, showing his pearly white teeth. “Come on, we can go right now. Close the bar, leave the cleaning out for tomorrow’s shift. I’ll wait for you outside,” he said, leaving no room for Matthew to answer. 

So that’s what he did. He changed his clothes quickly, leaving everything behind. He hoped Johnny would understand the circumstances even though deep down, Matt knew he’d be really mad he didn’t clean the floor which Johnny hated to do. 

He stepped out on the street, where he saw Leon sitting in the car. Matthew climbed in, not knowing what to say at first. 

“I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable,” 

That was the last thing Matt expected to hear. 

“My colleague just doesn’t like wiping up the floor.” Leon laughed and before he could come up with a comeback, the car abruptly stopped. He looked out of the window, saw that they parked right in front of the fancy restaurant Matthew has never been in. Honestly, he didn’t know if the reason why they arrived there so fast was the fact that Matt wasn’t really good at orientating in this part of the city or the fact that Leon drove like a madman.

People obviously knew Leon there. As soon as they entered, a waiter appearing out of nowhere was beckoning them to a private table in the corner of the huge hall. They sat down, Leon pulling out the chair for Matthew. 

He felt nervous and still couldn’t believe he was sitting at a table with him, with a single candle lit between them. When Matthew looked at him, Leon was smiling softly, as if not to scare an animal. 

“You should definitely try out the lamb chops, they’re great.” He looked at the menu for the first time, full of fancy names. He nodded, tentatively smiling back. 

Their food arrived and Matt was surprised that they didn’t eat in silence. Leon started with a story about his day, something harmless and a bit boring. Matty thought that was the end of it but Leon kept talking and talking and after his second glass of wine, Matthew found himself laughing at his deadpan jokes. 

“So, I have to ask you: How the hell did you learn Russian?” 

Matthew grinned, proud of himself a little. “I took classes in high school and had a Russian roommate when I started uni, which definitely helped."

“Tell me what you would like to do after school, though. Do you still enjoy going to school? My sister keeps bitching about all the assignments.” 

“Oh, yeah, the assignments are the worst. I don’t actually know yet, I’m still deciding if I’m going to do a doctorate or just work straight away. If I choose work, I think only the government is going to hire someone with ink still wet on their diploma,” 

Leon laughed, shaking his head. “The government, huh.” Matthew was one again mesmerised about how perfectly symmetrical his face was. “What about the girl I saw you with in the warehouse?” 

“Oh, that was Alison. We grew up together.” he said, smiling. 

“She looked really nice. What is she like?” 

“Everything but nice!” he exclaimed and was surprised by how natural their conversation flowed. “But no, she’s an angel. Lives a happy life with a rich husband, doing a lot of charity work and always working on projects for kids. Alison’s amazing. So is Mark. That’s the third part of our crew,” he laughed a little and Leon nodded, making the go-ahead gesture. “We all grew up together. Meeting them was a miracle for me, let me tell you. Mark works as a high school teacher, could you believe it? He puts up with teenagers and doesn’t even complain about them!” 

The other man shook his head, smiling at how invested Matthew was when he talked about his friends. 

“But yeah, if I decide and get a doctorate, I’d be willing to teach as well. Not teenagers though.” 

“Don’t you like kids?” Leon asked, sounding like he actually cared about his answer. 

“Kids, yes. Teenagers? Hell no! One of them almost made me cry on the subway the other day,” he said, giggling at the memory. 

They made it through three meals, time passing by so fast Matthew didn’t even notice they were sitting there for so long, if it weren’t for the fact that they were the only customers left in the restaurant. The candle between them has almost fully melted. 

The waitress came to take their plates. Leon thanked her and then asked Matthew if he would like to eat anything else, which he declined. He nodded and stood up. 

“I can pay,” Matthew said and Leon shook his head, waiting for him to stand up too. When he did, he swayed a little on his feet and Leon quickly grabbed his arm, steading him. He smiled thankfully. 

“Goodnight, Katie!”

“Goodnight, sir.” the waitress smiled. Matthew said his goodbyes as well, thankful that the waiters looked discrete enough to ignore the arm Leon still had around his shoulders. 

They got out, the cold Edmonton air a big shock for Matthew. He shivered. 

Leon didn’t open his door, instead he walked around the car and opened the door for him. Matty looked up, still not sure how this whole night was even real. He caught Leon already staring at him. Matt couldn’t help himself and followed the motion of his tongue licking his lips. Leon smiled and suddenly - 

They were kissing, tender, breathtakingly and oh - _so good_. Matty closed his eyes and kissed back. The hand in his curls felt amazing and he had to summon all of his energy not to whine when Leon pulled back. 

“Did I read this right?” he asked and Matt nodded. 

“Do you want this?” 

Matthew didn’t answer right away, astonished by the word “this” and now when he could think about it with a clear head - without Leon kissing him - “Maybe.” 

Leon shook his head. “Maybe isn’t a yes.” 

“It’s just - “ Matthew hesitated, knew exactly what he wanted to say but was too embarrassed by it. Leon stepped back a little, still looking at him, curious. 

“I don’t do hook-ups.” was what Matty settled on and averted his gaze down. Couldn’t look at him. 

“Listen,” Leon said, stepping in again. He put his hands on Matt’s chin, pushing it up a little so he was looking straight into his eyes. “I don’t have a problem with that.”

He smiled and Matty silently wondered how many times this man would leave him speechless.

Matthew smiled back. “So with that being said,” Leon was looking at his lips, something darkening in his eyes. “Can I kiss you now?”

“Yes.” Matty felt himself trembling when he did, didn’t know if it was because of the dizzying kisses or if there had been an earthquake. 

He was pretty sure he heard sirens in the background. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leon might be a mob boss but his other occupation is being the king of consent. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.  
> How do you guys feel about this chapter? 
> 
> Let's be friends! Come talk to me on [sysakiddo](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/sysakiddo)


	3. Chapter 3

“I still can’t believe you made me wipe up the floor,” John hissed, out of the blue. 

“It’s already been four days, when are you going to get over it?” Matty shook his head. He was busy, the bar full of people who wanted to have fun on a Friday night. Him and Johnny worked efficiently but they still didn’t find the time to actually take a break. 

“What were you even doing with Leon that was so important you couldn’t do it yourself?” he asked, for the millionth time that evening alone. Against his will, Matty blushed. 

“Oh, come on, I already told you he just needed help with-“ 

“Boring, I’m not listening.” Johnny interrupted him, taking the tray with the newly made drinks and leaving. When he came back, he sighed out so loud Matthew had to turn around and ask him what’s wrong. 

“When will this night end?” 

“In about 370 minutes, Johnny boy.” he chuckled at John’s grimace. “You have to get through the hard times to really-“ 

He was once again interrupted by John. “Wow, Matty, has someone sucked out all of your youth? What the fuck is wrong with you?” 

Matthew just rolled his eyes, knowing Johnny would use everything he would say against him. And yes, Matty worked hard but karma worked harder. He knew that he probably got his in form of Johnny bitching all night, but Johnny would get his sooner or later. Matt was guessing in which form the drama for the day would come - when a tall guy with tousled hair entered. 

“Your loverboy is here,” Matthew whistled and John glared at him but couldn’t help himself, turning around and lighting up at the sight of Ryan. 

“Hi, boys,” Ryan said, cheerful as always. He was smiling from ear to ear, eyes firmly on Johnny who kept blushing under the other man’s gaze. For the first time, Matthew thought  _ maybe _ . “How are you doing?” 

Johnny didn’t seem to be willing to answer so Matt let himself to take the lead. “We’re okay! The house is full, so a bit busy-“ 

Ryan’s brows furrowed. “Do you want me to call in help?” From what Matt himself has gathered, Ryan personally took care of all of their hotels in the city, meaning he sometimes sent in staff in to help them out on bigger occasions. 

“No!” Johnny all but yelled. “We’re doing just fine!” He blushed and wow, Matthew would have so much chirping material after this conversation. “But thank you, that’s nice of you to ask.” 

“What would you like to drink?” Matt asked and Ryan shook his head. 

“I don’t really care,” Matthew turned around so they wouldn’t see their smirk. He busied himself with making Ryan a drink he knew he would fancy and let the other men to get through a few lines of the clumsy conversation they had started. 

It was only when he handed him the drink when they snapped out of it. Ryan thanked him. “The boys will have the usual, I’m sure. They’ll come in a minute.” 

Matt nodded and went through the order he had time to learn by heart. He was almost done when the door opened, Connor slipping in with the others. What Matthew find out after a quick scan of the scene was the fact that there were three women with them and that a familiar figure was missing. He glared, sure that he just missed him coming in - but no, he wasn’t there. 

He put the cognac in his hands to the shelf again. Ryan smiled a big smile that showed his teeth and left to sit down with them with a goodbye. 

“I didn’t know Connor paid you to flirt with costumers,” 

“Shut the fuck up.” Johnny sniped and Matthew laughed. 

Leon didn’t show up for the rest of the night. Matt tried really hard to squash down the disappointment in his chest. 

  * ••



But that really didn’t work, not really. Matthew seemed to be upset, quiet in the way he didn’t know how to explain. He went to Costco, trying to get himself together. Maybe buying some new tea towels and fruits would cheer him up. 

And yes, picking out the best mango and taking home the worst looking sweet potato because he felt bad for it was good. But when he was standing in the line waiting for the checkout, a pair nearby caught his attention. The boy had his arms around the girl’s shoulders, the two of them standing in front of the vending machine. 

“Stop it,” the girl laughed. “I’m not buying!” She kept giggling, sounding so happy that a sharp jealousy hit Matthew. The boy kept pointing the finger at something even though she kept shaking her head. “Not buying!” she repeated and by the laugh that got punched out of the boy, it was some sort of an inside joke. Matty willed himself to look away. 

Something big and ugly roared in his chest. Jealousy, loneliness or was it - just something missing, making itself known by sharp pain and ringing in Matt’s ears.

The cashier looked shocked when he asked her how her day was going. She said her day is going okay and smiled at him. He breathed out. He would be okay. He was okay. The cashier helped him to pack his groceries in the flannel bag. Matty left with a wish of a good day, not looking back.

Mark picked out after two rings. “What’s up?” 

“I hate everything.” 

He chuckled, low. “I mean, the weather is shitty. Are you okay?” 

“I don’t really know. Just lonely, I guess.” 

“That’s okay, Matty.” That’s exactly why he called Mark and not Alison. Ali made him talk about his feelings in long, deep conversations, making him lie to her. It wasn’t that he wanted to, it was just that he wasn’t always sure how to call what he felt. “Listen, I want you to meet someone. We’re going to the Cube tomorrow, would you care to join?” 

He would like to spend some time with Mark, yeah. But will he be in mood to go to a loud pub? “Eh, I don’t know yet.”

“No pressure. I would love to see your face, though!” 

Matty chuckled, already feeling better after hearing Mark’s reassuring voice. 

“I’ll let you know, okay? I have to go home now and be happy about how my new tea towels look in the kitchen.” 

Mark giggled and the ugly feeling in Matt’s chest almost completely disappeared. “Okay, bro. Have fun and don’t forget to send pics of them to the groupchat!” 

After saying their goodbyes, Matty hang up and pocketed his phone. He decided to take the tube home. He noticed there was a new energy in his step as he walked over to the underground. 

  * ••



If someone asked him, he wouldn’t know how to explain how he got there. It was almost as if Matt blinked and suddenly, he sat at a table across from Leon, in the restaurant belonging to the hotel right next to the bar. 

“I haven’t seen you this weekend,” Matthew said even if what he wanted to say was  _ You didn’t call.  _ He tried really hard for it not to sound accusatory. 

_ “ _ I was in New York.” No apology. 

Matt didn’t like the version of Leon that was sitting there. Harsh voice and closed-off attitude. His face was stormy, thunder in his eyes and jaw set and tight, as if he was a greek god waiting for somebody to make a sculpture out of his face. He couldn’t be any different from the version that kissed Matt tenderly. 

This time, the food was already on the table when he arrived. Matty was glad for the distraction. The restaurant was empty, just them and other five men sitting by the exit, very obviously a part of Leon’s convoy. 

“So,” Leon started, cutting his steak. “How was your week?” 

He looked disgusted when he looked down at the meat. “Hey!” he yelled out at waiter. “You call this rare?” The waiter looked like she was about to die, quickly apologising and taking away his plate. 

“Um,” Matt said, disturbed. “It was boring, to be honest. Just work and school.” 

The waiter came back with another plate. Instead of thanking her, Leon clicked his tongue. 

“Then tell me which show you watch right now,” he said and Matt almost rolled his eyes. He wondered if he was there just for Leon’s amusement. 

He started talking against his better judgment, drawing out longer and longer answers out of Leon. His look has cleared out a little. 

“Are you seriously drinking Old Fashioned right now?” Matty found himself asking and Leon cocked an eyebrow at him. “Don’t give me that look, I made enough of them to know how it looks in the glass.” Leon smirked, drinking from the drink positioned next to his plate. 

“I guess I thought I needed to change it up a little.” Then he smiled. “Didn’t really work out to be honest,” And that was Leon Matthew was gone for, the charming man who knew how to make him laugh. 

All changed when one of the man in suit came up to Leon, whispering something in his ear. Matthew knew right away that whatever would come next won’t be pretty, solely based on the look on his face. 

“You can’t be fucking serious,” he said after the man stopped talking. He looked afraid and Matt tried to say something just to stop this whole scene.

“Leon, I-“ He was stopped when Leon stood up, not looking at him. 

“Go and figure it out, I can’t believe I still have to put up with this shit!” 

“But Connor said-“ 

“I don’t give a fuck about what Connor said, go there and take care of it!” 

Matty looked at the ground, the rest of the fight just a cacophony of voices in his head. He wanted nothing more than to leave and never see Leon again. Never get to hear somebody yell at other person like this. 

When it was all over, the yelling calmed down and the men gone, Leon sat down and drank the whole drink in one go. He looked at Matt like he has just noticed him sitting there. 

He smiled, baring his teeth in an ugly grimace. It was arrogant, intimidating, as if to say _ Look at me. This is me, this is what you get.  _

Matthew suddenly felt dizzy. He stood up with: “I have to go.” 

He thought Leon would try to stop him but he didn’t. 

Matty left without looking back. 

  * ••



“Hey, Mark? Are you still at the Cube?” 

He indeed still was. Matthew has made up his mind in instance. He was in the bar in a record time, finding Mark and his new girlfriend sitting at a table where they already prepared some fruity drink for Matt to drink. 

When Matty woke up, he knew right away where he was. Mark groaned from where he was laying down on the floor. 

Alison was standing by the windows, opening up the curtains. “Wakey, wakey, sunshines!” 

Mark and Matty always seemed to end up in Alison’s living room when they got fucked up, so it wasn’t a big surprise for anybody. 

Matt’s head was pounding and he closed his eyes for a second, last night flashing behind his eyelids. He was pretty sure he drank the whole bar and then hooked up with somebody in the bathroom stall so yeah, a successful night overall. 

“Mark, jesus, could you get up?” Alison rolled her eyer at him just groaning again. “I made you breakfast. Advil is on the table,” she pointed her finger at the pills and Matt smiled thankfully at her. 

When they showered and ate, they got back on the sofa, Mark immediately closing his eyes and burrowing himself in the blanket. He was always a poor drinker. 

“I’m pretty sure there’s a slalom competition on,” Ali said and Matt perked up. They used to watch the skiing competitions all the time when they were young, as it was one of the things the guardians let them watch.

So that was how Matty spent his whole day, on the couch with Mark half asleep and him and Alison loudly commenting the skiers. In the back of his mind, he thought  _ Maybe this is enough for me.  _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi friends! I hope you all found some peace during christmas 💛  
> This chapter is somehow full of Taylor Swift's references, ngl. 
> 
> How do you guys feel about what happened? Did Leon pass the vibe check?


	4. Chapter 4

Matthew locked the door on the bar, sighing in relief. His feet ached and he felt the muscles in his back tensing from the exhaustion. He couldn't wait to get back home and get lost in his warm sheets. 

What he certainly didn’t expect was Leon waiting for him on the street. 

“Matthew,” he said to catch his attention. Matty freezed, not moving closer but not running away either. Leon stepped up to him instead and Matt counted to ten in his head, then looked at him. 

“I would like to talk to you, is that okay?” 

The look on Leon’s face has been so frank that all he could do was just nod. He pointed a finger on a car parked by the curb - a yellow LaFerrari - and Matthew chuckled against his will. When Leon looked at him questioningly, Matt just shrugged. “That’s flashy,” 

Leon obviously didn’t know how to react, shifting on his feet awkwardly. 

“I’m going to take the tube,” Matt finished, smiling a small smile and turning away. Leon caught his elbow. 

“Let me go with you then.” 

Matt shrugged, not really caring at this point. He started walking and Leon was quiet. 

“You wanted to talk,” Matt couldn’t bear the silence, not now, when it felt so heavy on them. 

“I know that I fucked up,” Leon started after a minute. “I would still like to have one more chance -“ they got to the underground station. 

“To what?” Matt stopped him, crankier than he expected to be. 

“Let me take you out on a date, Matthew.” Leon touched his hand. “Just one more date and if you don’t want to see me after that, I’ll never bother you again.” He squeezed his hand and when Matt averted his gaze on the floor, he touched his cheek. His hands were cold. “So, what do you say? Will you let me?” 

Matt knew at that moment right there. He was doomed. 

“No more dinner dates, though.” 

Leon smiled a genuine smile, eyes crinkled. “No more dinner dates.” 

“And you really have to woo me.” 

“And I’m really going to woo you,” he repeated dutifully and this time it was Matty who smiled. 

“Now let me go, I can’t wait to get to bed.” 

Leon raised his hands in surrender. The tube has just arrived. 

“Goodnight, Leon.” Before he could think more about his actions, he leaned in and kissed Leon softly. He turned around quickly, getting in the carriage. Leon blurred as they set in motion. 

Matt put his headphones in and closed his eyes. He got out on his stop, glad he didn’t fall asleep. When he passed a woman sitting on the floor by the elevators, he fished out his wallet and handed her some of the change he had in it. 

As he did that, she grabbed his hand, looking at his palm. She had a crazy look on her face, her look glazed over. 

Still, when she started talking, her words were perfectly clear. “I can see death following you. Be careful, boy!” 

He snatched his hand from her hold and stepped away quickly. He didn’t know if the pit in his stomach has formed there because somebody has touched him against his will or because of her words. 

•••

Matthew’s childhood gave him a lot of characteristics, he’ll be the first person to admit that. His experiences shaped him, whether he liked it or not. However, he hated when Alison claimed that he was kind because of his trauma. Because - hell no. His trauma made him angry, insecure and scared. He lashed out a lot when he was younger, being one of the boys that gave the guardians a hard time. Matt liked destroying things, liked having broken things around him.

But of course, that didn’t last. Couldn’t. 

He chose to be kind, couldn’t let anybody go through something similar to what he went through. Matt was the one deciding to be soft and vulnerable around people everyday, even if it meant that he could get hurt easily. 

One of the most prominent traits he brought into adult life was the lack of expectations. He learned that having no expectations and being pleasantly surprised when something went right was a lot better than being let down by his too-good expectations. 

That’s why he tried not to imagine the way his date with Leon would go. Matt didn’t even let himself think about the place he would take him to. 

Leon picked him out in a sporty black Porsche. Matty deliberately didn't comment on his car choice. 

For the first time since he has known Leon, he saw him in other clothes than a suit. He wore a cashmere blue sweater with black jeans. Matt was surprised enough by it that he didn’t say anything until Leon repeated his name for the second time. 

“What?” 

Leon smiled a little, shaking his head. “Are you okay?” 

“Sure,” Matt nodded, bashful. 

“That’s good, because we’re here.” 

Matty looked around him, not recognising the place immediately. They got out and Matt let Leon touch his arm to move him, facing the building on the other side of the road. 

When he read the name and saw the posters, Matt chuckled. 

“What do you say?” 

Leon sounded unsure of himself for the first time ever and Matty was happy to see that he made him just as nervous as Leon made him. 

“This is.. great, actually. Sadly, I think it’s long after the opening hours.”

Leon clicked his tongue. “I guess it is.” 

He still wrapped his arms around Matt’s shoulders, leading him to the entry. There was a man waiting for them, who just nodded and opened the doors for them. 

“Just let me know when you’re done, please,” he said and left them alone again. 

Matty looked at Leon, who smiled cheekily at him. 

“It has its perks, right?” 

“What does?” 

Leon giggled, leading him further in instead of answering.

Matt completely lost any sense of dignity or shame when they entered the tunnel, walking away from Leon and laying a hand on the glass, watching the fish swim around in their pool under which they stood. 

Leon was proud of coming up with the idea of going to the aquarium. It wasn’t that he was particularly interested in the marine world, but seeing how amazed Matthew was, he was glad he listened to his gut. As if he knew he was thinking about him, Matt turned around. 

“Look, Leon! There’s a small shark in there!” 

He didn’t move, smiling. Matt rolled his eyes and crossed the small distance between them, taking his hand and leading him further in, pointing his finger to where the shark was. 

They were completely alone in the complex. They spent the longest time in the tunnel, sitting down on the bench there and talking quietly, with the fish swimming above their heads. The blue, dim light from the pool casted shadows on their faces. It made Leon look washed out and alien-like. He was still the most handsome man Matty has ever seen. 

They walked through the whole building, Matty leading Leon with their hands tied. 

“So, is this how you woo people?” 

Leon shook his head, “This is how I woo you.”

“Much better than a dinner date,” Matty concluded. Leon couldn’t seem to stop smiling. 

•••

That weekend, Leon took him to the old theatre. He refused to tell him what movie they were going to see. Matt complained for a while, but then again, the surprise of seeing the intro of Pulp Fiction play out was so much better than Leon telling him beforehand. 

The theatre was half full and they sat somewhere in the middle, with the perfect view. Matthew chewed his popcorn, thankful for the heat radiating from Leon’s shoulder. Not for the first time when spending time with Leon, he thought This is nice. 

And even though he knew most of the scenes from Pulp Fiction by heart, he has never seen it on a movie screen. It was a completely different experience. 

The version of Leon that kept taking him out on these dates was very easy to fall in love with. Matthew tried his hardest to keep his mind clear and think of all the times Leon acted differently but it was difficult to imagine the angry, arrogant man he could become, when the man next to him was laughing during the same scenes he was, rubbing soft circles into Matt’s neck. When he caught his eyes, Leon smiled, his eyes lighting up. The light from the movie screen has bathed his face in a golden light. Matthew couldn't keep his eyes away from him. 

Leon escorted him right to the door of his flat this time. He hovered in the hallway as Matty unlocked the door, the air heavy with the question no one dared to ask. He stepped into his apartment, hand on the door. 

Leon was looking at him, not saying anything for a few minutes. 

“I don’t put out until after the third date.” Matty was the first one to crack. 

Leon smirked, glint in his eyes. “What a happy coincidence, this was our fourth date.” he said cockily, moving in to swoop Matt in his arms, closing the door and then quickly pushing him against it. 

•••

Matt blinked a few times, irritated at the light shining on his face. He forgot to close the curtains last night. 

“I can feel you staring at me.” 

The man next to him chuckled and Matty huffed out a breath. “Stop staring at me,” 

“You’re gorgeous.” 

Matthew felt his cheeks getting hot and he groaned. He just had the best sex of his life with this man and what gets him to blush is his compliment? 

Leon cradled his cheek and Matt smiled a little, moving so he could lay his head on his shoulder. His fingers found a puckered scar right above Leon’s nipple. He noticed the scars on his chest the night before but didn’t have enough time to explore them like he wanted to. Leon grabbed his hand, pressing a kiss on his knuckles. 

Matthew moved around, pressing his cold feet under Leon's thighs. The man underneath him groaned and Matt giggled right into his neck. “You're cold,” Leon said, his hand skating over his back and then finally landing in his hair, which he tugged a little bit. “You want me to warm you up?” 

“You're so cheesy, it's not even possible.” Matthew laughed and Leon, who seemed to be outraged by this accusation, quickly flipped them, coming out on top of Matty. 

“I'll show you cheesy,” he lowered himself, biting Matt on his hip. Matt's giggles quickly turned into moans and Leon looked at him just to smirk winningly. 

In the forthcoming years, Matty visited this memory of them a lot of times. It was there when he felt happy and just started to fall in love with Leon, not knowing yet that nobody makes it out of love alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this has been written for a while but life happens, I'm sorry!! how are you guys? has anyone caught that shark easter egg?

**Author's Note:**

> comments feed the writer 💜


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